is it just me?

i don't think so. if you haven't seen the sun in three weeks, have daily confusion over whether your allergies are acting up or you've caught a cold from whiplash weather or are making a contingency plan to toast some s'mores in your fireplace for the holiday pending the continuation of the permacloud... you might live in indiana. and you just might be feeling, like me, a little less like yourself these days and a little more like eeyore, shamu or oscar the grouch (maybe a combination of them, a grumpy, sluggish mess of... zzz). i've decided something's got to give. ways i'm going to suck it up and help myself out:

1. drink coffee. so much coffee.
2. spend time with people i like.
3. get a change of scenery.
4. move. (walk, bike, dance.)
5. laugh. (at you. at myself. or at random people on the internets.)
6. make a plan.
7. tackle a project.
8. find some new music.
9. help someone.
10. fake it. (till it's real.)

back again

just uploaded all 444 of my pics from the trip. it took some effort to refrain from being behind the camera 24/7, but i think i still got some good ones. hope you enjoy!!

http://photobucket.com/GCCIndia12

noteworthy

it was suggested that i post some of my current musical interests here. because i need to get back into the swing of things and have just about this much motivation and energy to do so, here goes. some of the most noteworthy stuff i've been enjoying during the last year or so.


of monsters and men - no doubt you've heard the single "little talks" (as well you should), which is indicative of the brilliance of the rest of their album.
the soil and the sun - saw them perform live at a friend's apartment here in south bend, fresh off their appearance at this year's SXSW. entrancing.
the milk carton kids - a.k.a., kenneth pattengale & joey ryan, they had a stint opening for over the rhine last year, and they were a surprising treat.
the bergamot - totally local, totally amazing. think adele meets jack johnson with a little dave matthews thrown in the mix. absolutely loving them for who they are and their music alike. they also performed at my friend's apartment - as a fundraiser for my next india trip.
the lumineers - just discovered these guys from denver when i introduced someone at work to of monsters and men. i think it was a fair trade.
the head and the heart - a friend told me i had to listen to this band about a year ago, and i didn't regret it. she owed me anyway. i was the first one to show her the magic of over the rhine live.
alexi murdoch - didn't discover this guy till the opening scene of "real steel." actually really loved the movie as well as "all my days." bonus.
el ten eleven - i know, i know. they've been around awhile, but unless you're a mac geek, you might not have heard of them - though you have probably heard their music somewhere, in the background, secretly being fabulous.
chris bathgate - truthfully, i owe starbucks for this one. i'm gonna go ahead and say the salty price tag on my espresso drink balanced out the other treasure i discovered that day. i consider him local as well, since he hails from michigan.
the kills - saw them at lollapalooza last summer. nothing but vocals and guitar with the help of a drum machine and overwhelming chemistry.

hope some of you discover a new love via this post. enjoy!

a valentine greeting

this is the best valentine i think i've ever gotten. i had to share. (penned by the always eloquent linford detweiler and karin bergquist)

Hello young lovers wherever you are,

Hello not-so-young lovers with hearts fixed on the prize of growing
older together, one day at a time, come what may,

Hello to those flying solo, learning to love just the feel of being
human,

Hello to those head over heels in a tangle of a wrecked bed, blurring
ego boundaries with an eager protagonist, drunk on it,

Hello to those who could never live with another human being and are
okay with that knowledge (Fran Lebowitz),

Hello to those married with young children, running their domestic
marathon,

Hello to those in love with the sky only, the very breathable air,
restlessly content with this earthly mix of sometimes joy, sometimes
longing, sometimes loneliness, sometimes surprising laughter,

Hello to those in love with the whole human predicament,

Hello to the broke, the well-heeled, the lucky, the lost, the quiet,
the gifted, the empty-handed, the adopted, the beginners, the almost
finished, the starting over, the music makers, and those with the gift
of hearing and receiving the music,

Hello.

Happy St. Valentine’s Day to you all.

since it seems i haven't been able to find the words to say on here for quite awhile, i thought i'd let someone else speak them for me. i hope you found them enjoyable.

my valentine's evening was spent with three girls i started on a spiritual journey with last fall. we decided to continue it this month and next, and while we have no idea where exactly it will lead us, it's going to be an interesting and challenging path. i don't know why we have to resort to a book in order to even start to figure out how relationships and community work, but here we are. and we're diving in. it could get ugly. but hopefully it will also get us somewhere other than where we are right now, stuck in hibernation mode (as if we needed to hide).

in closing, a quick note about some stuff going on since i last posted. i'm not inundating the twittersphere or facebook world with updates, but my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer right around thanksgiving, and yesterday she had the second of a year's worth of chemo treatments. thoughts and prayers are so appreciated.

that's all for now.

not my typical blogging shtick...

i usually steer clear of political rhetoric, but i found this trio of tweets by Sen. Lindsey Graham of SC intriguing:

“I feel all we have worked for, fought for, and sacrificed for is very much in jeopardy by today’s announcement.”

“I hope I am wrong and the President is right, but I fear this decision has set in motion events that will come back to haunt our country.”

he even prefaced the two tweets with this: “On Iraq, I respectfully disagree with President Obama.”

humility and respect. regardless of your opinions on the war and withdrawal announced today, you've got to agree we don't see a lot of those things coming from washington. it got my attention. so thanks, Sen. Graham. it was a pleasant surprise.

two words.

COLD. PLAY.

what ALMOST had the power to prompt me into resurfacing in the blogging world last month was the advent of friday, august 5. for four months, i'd been counting down to lollapalooza 2011. here's a glimpse of how i spent that night:



that was the close of the equally spectacular prior two hours. chris, guy, jonny and will engaged and entertained - and seemed to be enjoying the moments as much as their portion of the 90,000 fans in attendance were. there were fireworks, lasers, giant balloons, guitar smashing antics, tributes (Jay-Z's "99 Problems" and the Back to the Future theme were preludes; Chris sampled a somber version of Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" to open "Fix You") and the beloved ragdoll dance. the crowd jumped, danced, clapped and sang along (with and without prompting) and in return, the band was frequently caught applauding the crowd's participation. the Chicago skyline was the backdrop. outside of the contact high and 100% humidity, the day was near perfection.

leading up to the headlining show were notable performances by grace potter & the nocturnals, the kills and bright eyes. girl talk and muse performed a million miles away opposite coldplay, and even though i read somewhere that matt bellamy claimed those watching his show had "made the right choice" - i honestly beg to differ. (though i'm sure he was entertaining and his fans weren't disappointed.)

another favorite moment from the night:



so worth my money. even with as little of it as i have.

well, that's all i have to say, for real. at least in writing.

go in peace.

most of the time...

i think i don't really deserve my life. the rest of the time is when i'm unconscious, so i'm not really thinking about anything.

started reading this book called "plan b" by pete wilson. i innocently asked someone what it was about when i saw it sitting on her bookshelf, and she put it in front of me and told me to read it and "find out." those of you who know our beloved director of retail services will not find this surprising. anyway, the book is all about the "what now?" when you figure out that your best laid plans aren't coming to fruition. basically, how do you handle it when you don't get your way or what you maybe even thought God was telling you was sure to happen. i'm not far into it, but the question made me think of something one of our teaching pastors said last night at the kick-off to our all-church small group study. he said something to the effect of, "when things get uncomfortable, lean in."

i don't think anyone will be surprised to hear me say i'm not really a fan of small groups. so the thought of leaning into an uncomfortable situation when it involves people i may or may not have known until that evening didn't appeal to me. in fact, it kind of made my stomach flip. but the more i thought about it, the more i realized there's not really a more helpful suggestion for someone who actually wants to make the small group effective as opposed to a dreadful waste of time. running away or sliding by would guarantee me a solid hour of insignificance every week.

this definitely has applied (or should have) in situations outside of a group dynamic. the most powerful times to lean in to God have never been more clear. it's when i feel a bump or a bruise, or a break. it's when nothing makes sense. it's when all i can feel is the hurt or the embarrassment or the guilt. it's when i can't stop crying or i don't know how to take the next breath without screaming or cursing. it's when i feel abandoned or lost or taken advantage of. because all of those emotions, notions and symptoms tell me God hasn't given up. He's pulling me back or pointing me in a little different direction than i was heading. it wouldn't hurt if it didn't matter. or if there was no right and wrong. i guess it's kind of like when you get a leg cramp after doing something physically strenuous (particularly when you're accustomed to a sedentary lifestyle such as mine). not that i know what that's like. but when you feel that pull, you've got to deny the instinct to stretch your muscles in the direction they WANT to go. pulling in the opposite direction goes against what your body is telling you, but you know if you give in to it, the pain's just gonna get worse. you recall the first time it happened to you and the person who told you how to make it go away. you thought they were crazy and maybe just trying to hurt you more (in my case, it was my big sister, and i was sure she was trying to get back at me for something). but you finally give in and try it because what you're doing certainly isn't helping. and you find out the truth is counter-intuitive. maybe for the first time. funny.

well, those are the random thoughts i decided to spit out into cyberspace upon my re-entry to the blogging world once again.

i've also been meaning to post a little job update for awhile now. without going into another novel, things are going well. i didn't really know what to expect going into it, but it hasn't been a disappointment. so many reasons to be thankful (tying back into the intro to this post). my boss, my team, my environment, my proximity to target, chipotle and chick-fil-a. it's been a great experience so far, and i'm still just trying to soak it all in before they figure out they made a huge mistake...

so that's all for now. maybe.

it's the little things that can make you really love life.

like shampoo that actually lathers so you don't feel like you have to pour half the bottle on your head (of very short hair, i might add) to know that it's squeaky clean.

or pulling a shirt out of your dresser, putting it on and realizing it still smells like it's straight out of the dryer... mmm, quality fabric softener.

or not having to wake up to an alarm clock that, as someone very dear to me once put it, makes you think you have to evacuate.

or rediscovering the spectacular music library you have and creating an aural utopia on your iphone.

the list is endless, but in order to maximize today's enjoyment of said list, blogging must take a backseat. off to lay in a hammock. or, more likely, fall out of one.

may you enjoy the little things today.