Yodeling and the like

i walked in to my house church leaders' meeting three minutes late last night and was directly asked to open in prayer since i was "the last one here." without skipping a beat, i replied, "sure" and dove right in. i mean, i'm a "leader." i'm supposed to be pretty comfortable praying in public, and i've been doing it for about 20 years. i didn't really give it a second thought. i'm also pretty good at critiquing prayers: rehearsed, inconcise, flashy, boring, contrived, immature ... you get the idea. as with anything that comes as second nature to some and not to others, or a skill that you've honed and they haven't, it's hard to be objective. out of habit, i ended up critiquing myself. i failed miserably.

it was like someone butchering the star-spangled banner (which we all know happens far too often) or yodeling "amazing grace." fred durst doing a rendition of, well, anything. oh sure, all the right words were there. they spilled out with effortlessness and i was halfway through the "give us wisdom and guidance" and "prepare our hearts" inanities before i even realized i didn't mean anything i was saying. eeeek. God hears far too much yodeling from me.

of course i finished with the "thank you for this incredible opportunity" flourish and we commenced the meeting. i couldn't help but wonder if everyone saw through the triteness and chose to lovingly overlook it or if they'd indeed been duped into thinking that certainly the right words meant a godly attitude. while i, along with most of us, can see the falsehood in this, i still manage to dole the stamp of approval on pray-ers who seem to know what they're going to say before they say it and question the sincerity of those who stumble through not quite saying anything.

i spent the majority of the meeting berating myself for not even being able to pray right. how in the world could i possibly mess up talking to God, Who already knows everything that you are going to say and what you actually mean? it should be so simple! but in the process of becoming sure God hated my prayer and had probably plugged His ears in disgust (i hadn't come up with the yodeling analogy yet), i scrounged up a little bit of hope.

no, God probably hadn't loved my attitude and was probably wishing i'd get it together sometime soon, but i know that it'll be awhile (at least a couple of days -- i desperately hope) before i dive into another banal conversation with my God. and all those things i prayed for? guidance, wisdom, openness ... i want them all. praying the trite prayer opened my eyes to what was missing. i'm looking for it. i mean, how can you ask God for something and walk away and not do anything to try to deserve it?

i don't think i'd recommend praying contrived prayers just so later on you might feel guilty and therefore motivated to do something about it, but if it takes one of those prayers to get your attention, God might have you do it.

i've always thought of corporate prayer as a chance to state solidarity as a group entreats God for blessing, deliverance, etc., and a chance to encourage the listener. i don't know that anyone listening would have been encouraged by that prayer i prayed, but it worked for me. soli deo gloria.