WHAT?!? now i have to do something about it?

had a good discussion last night in our 2nd care group meeting about devotions and the motivation for/benefits of doing so. i think we're all to the point where we understand the importance of consistent time with God and His Word but need to pinpoint just what it is that will actually get us to discipline ourselves to do it. a lot of the girls need to report that they've read the passages and journaled for their Bible classes. that's an outward motivation, and they struggle with doing it for a grade but know that it's a problem in their own hearts to not be motivated otherwise. for me, it's finding that point of desperation or hunger that is not fulfilled by what i've done during the day of my own accord to further my relationship with Him. it's still a mystery. it used to be such a habit ... it was never even a battle. now it's one i have to fight every day, which i know is biblical, but it's still kind of a shock to me. i've tried to maintain the mindset that the battle means there must be a comparable threat tied to it. what would happen if i actually became a disciplined person? probably scarier things than struggling to spend quality time communicating with God. am i up to that? basically, you've figured out by now that i'm pretty lazy. or maybe it's just that i'm comfortable, and i find it much easier this way. i all but promised myself in college that i'd never let it get that way. and now that i've admitted that's what's happening, it's not like i can let it go on, can i? i knew this blog would be good for something someday.

on to the SOTD ...

Every Double Life/New Amsterdams
These are models of my own design
Two circles never meeting
One in 92 and 95
And it's all been up to me

May not listen to my own advice
It can be so overwhelming
There are strains on every double life
But you won't hear me complain

Yes it's true
You knew
You believed it
You should just turn
And walk away

Took a compliment and photograph
Committed it to memory
Model of how not to act
At least not imitate

Wouldn't it have been ideal
If it all fell down from heaven
How am I supposed to feel
When I know what you did wrong

Yes it's true
You knew
You believed it
You should just turn
And walk away

Yes it's true
You knew
I was leaving
We're under the same sky line today